The need to belong is a fundamental human motivation, imperative for the well-being of the individual and society. In seeking to fulfil this need, people develop a social identity, defined by their membership in social groups. For much of the world, this identity is built from early childhood, through consistent interaction with their environment, reinforced by customs, traditions, and practices shared with others of the same culture and nationality. Yet, for some, identifying with one sole social group, culture, or part of the world is nearly impossible.
Global mobility and the resulting blurring of cultural barriers that characterise the 21st-century world challenge the straightforward path to social identity development, evident in the complex multicultural backgrounds of younger generations. Among such cross-cultural individuals are Third Culture Kids (TCK), a term referring to individuals who spend a significant part of their developmental years in a culture different from that of their parents. Distinguishing TCKs from immigrant children is the transient nature of their stay in the host country. What becomes of their social identity, and what, if any, challenges do they face in the process of finding one? How can they be better supported in their search for belonging? And just as importantly, what can be learnt from those who have turned challenges into assets? This article seeks to answer these questions.
Pollock & Van Reken’s model describe Third Culture Kids as neither fully belonging to the culture(s) of their parents (home or first culture) or completely to the culture(s) they grew up in (host or second culture), often resulting in a unique marriage of both, thus called the ‘third culture’, shared with others of similar multicultural backgrounds. The thus mobile lifestyle and experience of TCKs is accompanied by perks and drawbacks.
Their challenges stem from the difficulty in developing a sense of belonging, which can lead to poor self-esteem and self-worth. A common experience of TCKs is repatriation; the process of returning to one’s first culture. Here, TCKs can experience reverse culture shock, characterised by disillusionment and difficulties re-adjusting following repatriation. Greater instances of cultural misunderstandings and an underlying feeling of being an outsider are common. Such experiences and differing social expectations, customs, and values among others make it arduous to create and maintain interpersonal relationships. This results in a lack of strong social support, a principal reason for the higher instances of depression and anxiety that TCKs are reported to experience. The extent of distress varies across individuals, depending on factors including duration of stay, number of relocations, age, and degree of difference between the first and the second cultures. Persistent difficulties in creating a sense of belonging can lead to TCKs finding themselves existing in the world as ‘social nomads’ or ‘culturally homeless’, belonging everywhere yet nowhere at once.
On the other hand, with adequate support and an adaptive resolution of challenges that accompany their complex cultural identities, TCKs can be well ahead in cultivating positive qualities. They are better able to harbour a global mindset, identifying with others first as citizens of the world, not paying paramount heed to barriers instated by national borders. Research shows that such TCKs demonstrate greater adaptability, flexibility and a tolerance for different cultures, displaying greater open-mindedness. Their adaptability extends to being more adept at language acquisition. They embody greater intercultural sensitivity, a quality that refers to awareness of different cultures, including cultural biases, a greater interest in learning about other cultures, acceptance and appreciation of cultural diversity. Likewise, they exhibit greater intercultural literacy; the ability to build bridges and communicate effectively across cultures, along with a willingness to interact with those from diverse cultural backgrounds.
In examining the Indian context, TCKs among non-resident Indians (NRIs) become central. They play a vital role in building global bridges with India, cultivating intercultural appreciation. At the same time, they experience unacknowledged challenges. NRI TCKs are either looked up to as something of awe or met with discrimination for their differences. As shared by some through blog posts, what is often the natural consequence of assimilation of cultures resulting in differences in mannerisms, speech, and practices, is viewed as evidence of having abandoned their motherland. Likewise, the distress that accompanies re-consolidating their social identity and adjusting to drastic changes in the environment is interpreted as rooted in arrogance. This antagonistic perception of NRI TCKs proves unhelpful as it risks the othering of those who deal with a preexisting sense of alienation. What is evident here is a lack of awareness of the psychological struggle that underlies often mischaracterised external behaviour.
What then can be done to help TCKs with the challenges that accompany their experience? Understanding can prove crucial as a first step. Ruth Van Reken, who co-authored the book ‘Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds’, shared a personal reflection being an adult third culture kid herself: “My life has been a rich one, filled with great diversity. Its very richness, however, kept me from understanding the significance of the losses a cross-cultural lifestyle filled with high mobility also includes. The loss of a home, country and land which I dearly loved but weren’t officially mine and repeated separations from family and friends left me with unrecognised, and thus unresolved, grief.”
Allowing space for the recognition and resolution of unacknowledged grief experienced by TCKs, and providing support groups to share their experiences with similar others, can thus make a world of difference. Schools can take a threefold approach, providing support for TCKs, raising awareness among non-TCK peers, and training staff on how to address TCKs’ needs. Similarly, organisations can encourage dialogue, collaboration, and the sharing of multicultural knowledge from individuals with different backgrounds, providing avenues for integration.
For TCKs, the path to belonging can be complex but can yield great value. Ultimately, the TCK experience challenges us to question traditionally held conceptualisations of belonging and identity. The resulting recognition of our shared humanity and the value of lived experiences can move the world forward towards greater tolerance and harmony among us all.
Aashia Shefi
