Healing is often portrayed as a winding road filled with obstacles and unexpected detours. For many, the journey toward emotional recovery can be confusing and daunting. There’s a prevailing belief that confronting our emotions head-on is essential for healing, as if we must wrestle with our feelings in order to emerge on the other side. This concept isn’t unfounded; research shows a strong connection between emotional and physical health. Conditions like somatoform disorder and psychosomatic illness, recognized in the DSM, highlight how emotional wounds can manifest as physical symptoms.
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross famously outlined five stages of emotional healing in her book, “On Death and Dying”. The first stage is denial, where individuals might refuse to acknowledge a traumatic event. This is often followed by anger, as feelings about the loss emerge. Next comes negotiation, where those affected might bargain with themselves or others in hopes of alleviating their pain. This leads to depression, characterized by profound sadness. Finally, acceptance arrives, allowing individuals to come to terms with their situation.
Studies show that therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) advocate for understanding and embracing our emotional crises as pathways to healing. This approach emphasizes that engaging directly with our feelings is vital. However, I believe that true acceptance of emotions often comes only after we’ve navigated the initial four stages of healing. It’s incredibly challenging to sit with painful emotions while still grappling with denial, anger, negotiation, and depression. Trying to confront our feelings too early might exacerbate our pain.
Interestingly, a study suggests that distractions—often seen as poor emotional regulation strategies—can play a crucial role in healing. During moments of emotional turmoil, the pain can be overwhelming, making distractions a valuable short-term escape. Personally, I found solace in burying myself in work, which, while avoiding the painful truth, provided temporary relief.
Distractions can indeed be a double-edged sword. While they can offer a much-needed break, relying on them excessively can be unhealthy. A recent study highlights that certain distractions may even worsen anxiety. In the immediate aftermath of an emotional crisis, the intensity of the pain can cloud our ability to process what’s happening. Feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion often amplify our distress. During these chaotic times, distractions can provide a necessary reprieve, allowing us to cope without being overwhelmed.
However, not all distractions are created equal. Distraction is usually classified as a maladaptive coping mechanism. Maladaptive coping mechanisms are unhealthy ways to cope with stressful situations where the individual uses emotion focused strategies rather than problem focused situations. A recent study found that maladaptive coping mechanisms can result in poor mental health and avoidance and suppression of emotions. While unhealthy coping mechanisms—like alcohol or gambling—can lead to further problems, lighter distractions like binge eating or excessive internet use may serve as minor collateral damage in the face of emotional turmoil. Some individuals even find solace in healthier distractions, such as creative writing or exercise. It’s crucial to choose your distractions wisely.
Think of emotional healing like a physical wound: constantly reopening and inspecting it can hinder recovery. Similarly, revisiting emotional pain before we’re ready can prolong our healing process. Recognizing and accepting our emotions is important, but just as one wouldn’t try to treat a broken leg by yourself, it’s crucial to seek professional help when dealing with emotional distress. Our emotions should be explored in a safe environment that promotes resolution rather than exacerbating our pain. A recent study shows that social support has been a relatively significant marker of better rehabilitation after someone recovers from a mental illness.
Healing is inherently a slow process that cannot be rushed. The intensity of grief that arises from various situations like loss of a loved one, distance in a relationship or friendship or even an accident, requires patience and self-compassion to heal. Processing of emotions requires time and space along with support systems and is an ongoing process. One must not consider healing as an end goal but a means to an end that has its own pace and varies individually. As noted in a blog, the experience of grief is nonlinear, and trying to rush through it can be counterproductive. Embrace distractions as temporary coping mechanisms, but remember that a balanced approach—incorporating both professional guidance and self-care—is key to navigating the intricate journey of healing.
In conclusion, whether you choose to act or distract, the path to healing is uniquely yours. Embrace the process, honor your emotions, and don’t hesitate to seek support along the way. Healing may take time, but with patience and understanding, you can emerge stronger on the other side.
Aakanksha Upadhyay
